November 8th, 2010

These past few weeks have been way better. I've had a better handel on my homework, and life has been good. The only problem is, I get really frustrated a lot. I mean there's this guy that I like. And I think about him. Constantly. And I don't want to like him. He's done nothing but hurt me. Why is it that i'm obssessed with the people who hurt me?

Sorry for the short posts,

Princess Buttercup

Tuesday, October 26

Dear blog readers,

Yesterday was a ROUGH day.

It started with me having to be at school early because my dad had to go to work and my mom couldn't take me because she was sick. Then, I had to read 5 chapters of a book in 30 minutes for a test because I forgot to take my book home.

Then I left my clarinet at school, unlocked, randomly open for anyone to take. (Thank GOODNESS no one did...)

As soon as I got home, my mother and I got into several arguments involving my irrisponsibility and the fact that I need to "step up" and do more around the house.

The final straw was when I asked her if she was rgoing to rest, she flipped out and told me that she needed to sleep and that she needed to stop solving my problems.

So I planned to run away. I packed my bag. Threw it out the window, grabbed my five bucks, and told my mom I was going on "a walk."

I walked around looking for a place to go, and I couldn't find one. I was also getting eaten ALIVE by mosquitoes...  Let's just say it turned out home wasn't such a bad place to be, so I started the treck back.

Me and my mother are still fighting. I still feel like running away.IF i can find a place where i'll be safe, then i might... 

Sorry, I just wanted to vent. Thanks for reading!!!

-Princess Buttercup

P.S. Please spend 5 minutes today playing on freerice.com It's a great way to help stop world hunger, just by answering a few trivia questions :)

Oh my goodness!

Ok so this weekend I went to a church retreat. It was really great, and it was a really good reconnection with God. We watched this video by Louie Giglio called "How Great is Our God." It made me realize how small I was, and how I should not be giving God advice, I should be praying for His guidence and help in my life.

Also, on this retreat it was a really good chance to recconnect with my friends. Thankfully, the main cause of drama was non existant, so it was a drama-free weekend :) I got to talk to one of my good friends since Kindergarden. We talked about how she was part of the "popular" crowd and how some of the people in her group had hurt me. She had mentioned that they had hurt her too, and it helped me to know that she was not the one intentionaly hurting me.

Another thing is that I have vowed to do a devotional. I need to connect with God more. So, this morning I woke up 30 minutes earlier than I needed to to spend a little bit of time with him. I read through a couple of chapters and God really spoke to me. So what I'm going to ask of you is that you post what you learn from your devotionals below in the comment section. :)

-Princess Buttercup

P.S. If you haven't seen the above mentioned video ("How great is our god" by Louie Giglio) Then i really do suggest that you watch it. It is a life changing video...

Rough Week Anyone?

Dear Blog followers (AKA, 1 person?),

I have had a really rough week. Let's just say that i've been really down on my self-esteem. I've been thinking a lot about my mom and her over-weigtness. It makes me really sad, and it makes me want to do anything i can to be skinny unlike her. That's why I get so mad when people say  I look like her. :/ That's been weighing on my mind. I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but it is. So anyways, that's all.

I guess just pray for me if you can that would be EXCELLENT. <3

I love you all followers.

-Princess Buttercup

Seriously?

Ok so I am really annoyed by my sunday school class. People insist upon talking and disrespecting our teachers. Then, when I tell them to shut up and listen for once, they get mad at me saying "church can be fun." Of course church can be fun, but there is a time and a place to shut up and listen. I guess all that I'm saying is that I wish that people would either go to church and be serious and try and learn about God, or that they wouldn't go at all.

Wow my posts are getting very short lately........... oh well.

-Princess Buttercup

number 2

I know I just posted but i have another post to make.

I feel very frustrated because my friend Martha (name change) is like totally abandoning me! I mean we used to be like bff's and now she has joined the drama club and all she cares about is stupid boys. And she used to invite me over every weekend and now she never invites me over any more....... I feel like i have lost a friend and she doesn't even realize it... ;( Now i feel like crying...... *rolls eys*

Anyways that's all

-Princess Buttercup

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Hey guys!

I know, it's been FOREVER since I've written you, my 3 faithful fans :) Well, anyways. School is going great. I don't really know how to explain it, it's just going so much better then last year. I'm first chair in band (yay!) and I'm doing good in choir.

Ok so anyways to more good news! I started getting healthy again, and I've lost 4 pounds in 4 days which (according to my mother and father) is a ton. But I still have a long way to go... So anyways, I guess just pray for me that I have the strength to continue!

Oh yes, and piano lessons! One of my best guy friends Bob (name changed for privacy purposes) is going to take piano lessons from this lady who costs like $15 a lesson, which is apparently really cheep, so I'm going to ask my parents if I can start taking them too!!! I really hope it goes well!1

I don't really know what else to say at the moment so I'm going to stop talking :)

-Princess Buttercup

P.S. Question of the day: I don't have one, so post one below if you can think of one.

P.P.S. Please reccomend this to your friends, I really want more viewers so yepppp

Take What You Get

ok, so my grandmother is really getting on my nerves (again.) It's like she's not happy about what she has. So, I'm a pretty good kid. I made National Junior Honor Society, I'm 2nd chair in the best band, and I made top choir. Not to mention I never get in trouble, and if I do, it's for little things.
But she is CONSTANTLY correcting me and getting on my nerves. I mean, I'm on vacation, and I still have to practice clarinet every day. I never get a break. I understand it's important to practice, but it's vacation! I guess maybe because she was a clarinet player, and I am apparently "so good" (ya right) she is trying to live vicariously through me. It's annoying though, because I wish she would realize it's my life. I don't even really like clarinet! I mean, I guess it's ok, but I LOVE piano,  it's my passion. I don't think she understands that.
Not to mention my weight. She is constantly commenting on it, and saying we need to go excersize, and saying that we need to eat better, and all this stuff. I'm not even worried about my weight. I mean, I'm not trying to be unhealthy or anything, and yeah, I guess I should watch it, but I'm a kid. I'm not going to worry about every single carb or sugar that I put into my body. I just want to live life while I can.

So, sorry for venting, but i guess this is what this blog is all about. Thanks for reading!
-Princess Buttercup

P.S. Please comment, follow (if possible), and reccomend to your friends. Also, please comment on which poll we should have next.

Shopping Day

So, today I went shopping with my Grandmother and Great Aunt. Usually, it is very frustrating, but this time, it was actually a good experiance. I got a couple pairs of jeans, a pair of sweats, 1 t-shirt, 1 long sleeved shirt, and a sweater. It was fun. I also got this AMAZING perfume from Bath and Body Works called Orange Sapphire. It smells (you guessed it) like oranges.

Ok, the votes are in. 50% of you would start the convorsation with the guy, and 50% of you wouldn't. Thank you for answering. Comment for what poll shoud be next.

Short post today!

-Princess Buttercup

You know that feeling??

Ok, so you know that feeling when everything is going well, and you have nothing to worry about? Well, I have that feeling. Ya, I still have the problems I talked about earlier, but since I'm not at home (I'm on vacation), I'm choosing not to worry about them.

I have found my "summer crew." You know, the people you hang out with during the summer 24/7. Maybe they're not even the people you hang out with at school. They're the people you make the best memories with, summer flings, I mean come on, everything happens in summer!

Well, anyways, back to the point. I found those people. I feel like they are my best friends, and I just met them a few days ago. We've gone swimming, tubing, hide and seek (ya i still play it. So what?? It's fun being a kid), a bonfire, and tomorrow we're going to the movies. Plus, there's this one guy that I feel like we're having a summer fling. He hasn't asked me out, but we flirt a TON, and he picks me up every day and drives me home every day on his golf cart or four wheeler (hey, it's as close as you can get to a car in middle school.) And tonight, he drove me home at like 10:05 on his four wheeler, and it was really romantic. He was driving kind of fast (not dangerously fast, but fast) and I just held on around his waist and layed my head on his back. It was really sweet, and he didn't even say anything. (I take that as a good thing, he wasn't telling me to get off.) And he smelled really good, which was another plus.

One more thing, I didn't even think of my problems ALL day (until I got home and on my computer)!!! It was amazing being so busy and having so much fun that I didn't even think of home.

So, anyway, questions for today. Who's your "summer crew." Are they the same people you hang out with during the school year? What do you guys do? Have you ever had a summer fling?

Thanks for reading!
-Princess Buttercup

P.S. Please, please, please comment. I love reading what you guys have to say. And follow if you can (I understand that it's not possible for everybody.) If you can't follow, be sure to check back soon. I post pretty much every day. And vote on the poll below! Thanks again for reading!

A couple of things...

Dance

Ok so I went to this dance, and it was lots of fun! I didn't know anybody, but I danced like there was no tomorrow.
It was really interesting, because they said the dance started at 8, but no one started dancing until 9:30. I was there until 10:30, but I'm sure that the dance went on until 11 or 12.
I was a little sad though, because they had one or two slow dances, and no one asked me. :( But oh well, it's ok.

More friend problems

On a little bit of a more serious note, is more of my friends issues.
Ok so there's this girl I'm arguing with, let's call her Jane. (The girl who twist words from post 1)
She has been posting stuff on facebook about how she "misses me." and "loves me" and "wishes i could be there." So I asked her if we were friends and she said yes. I replied, "o" then she said "why, do you not want to be?" and I said "I don't know." I meant that, because I feel like she uses me. In private, she acts like my friend, and she says all that stuff on facebook, but when we go to church and hang out, she is too concerned with boys to even talk to me. It's really depressing.

Then there's the other guy from post 1 that I am also arguing with. He commented on a person's status, so I told him "wow, you're friends with my mom and dad, but you're not friends with me?" He said "I never said I was friends with anybody." So i replied " I meant on facebook.You are friends with my mom and dad, but you're not friends with me." So he sent a friend request and I accepted (I know stupid right.) I then sent him a chat message saying "Are you still mad at me? You didn't have to do that, I was just messin with ya" and he never replied. What does this mean???????

Cutting

Warning: please know this is not to make fun of anyone or judge anyone. It's my quest to figure out the world.

Have you ever cut? Have you ever thought about cutting? I think the majority of people from the age of 12 up to 20 would say yes to one or both of these questions. I'm not saying that younger or older people don't do self-harm, it just seems like that would be the age most people do.
What makes people want to cut (or burn or do other harming things to themselves)? Is it their horrible self-esteem? I mean, it's no secret that our society has a horrible self image, especialy young women, but can your thoughts about your own body be so bad that you want to ruin it?

Or, instead, is it that other people make fun of them? I mean, I know people call me fat and ugly and say that I am completly unloveable and will never get a boyfriend. One girl said this: "I took a final with you one time, and the whole test, what did I hear? You, breathng so (expletive) loud. I couldn't even concentrate!" That's slamming me for something I can't even control (my asthma)! I guess this comment and comments like this would by what made me think about cutting. (To answer any questions ahead of time: No, I don't cut. I just think about it pretty frequently.)

Please share what makes you want to cut, why you cut, or why you think people cut if you have never felt this. Remember no one is going to judge you. I'm just curious on what other people's thoughts are.

Love always
-Princess Butercup

P.S. Sorry for the long post again, I just had to let some things off my chest. Please comment, take the poll, and tell your friends about this! I want to get as many followers as possible. Not for myself, but to help girls realize that they are not the only ones feeling these things. Thanks!

Friday, July 27

I couldn't think of a title, but oh well. haha.

Well, today, I don't really know what to write about :/ Nothing interesting has really happened.

So guess what? Yesterday, I went to the county fair with my family. We found out there's a teen dance Sunday night, and I'm soooooo excited! I don't know anybody in this town (I'm on vacation) and hopefully I'll meet some new people. maybe even some cute guys....

Oh, and another thing. My grandmother is crazy! I wanted to go running at the high school track, but she said it was more important for me to play my clarinet. Really? I think it would have been ok to sacrifice clarinet for 1 day to run and get in better shape. Plus, I'm really mad at her because yesterday we went to the fair (I said that already, I know) and she was saying how "heavyset" I looked compared with the other kids, and "no wonder people make fun of you at school." I mean, isn't she supposed to help and encourage me? This is the equivilant of your grandmother calling you fat! It made me extremely mad, and it made me want to break down crying.

Well, anyway, that's the extent of interesting things in life right now... :P

<3 Princess Buttercup <3

P.S. Please vote on the poll below and reccomend this blog to all your friends you think would be interested. Thanks!

Losing Friends

Warning: this post is extremely long. Sorry guys!

Okay, so I do'nt know if this happens to any of you, but I think the best at night. LIke, I'll be about to fall asleep, and this really good idea or thought will pop into my head. Then I wake up and don't remember it.

So when I woke up at 2:30 am this morning,I decided to write my thoughts down in my journal and then publish them here later on! What was I think about, you may ask? Well, the answer would be riends that I feel I lost.

There are some people that I have known before I was born. Our parents took parenting classes together for goodness sakes! For instance, there's this guy (let's call him August.). He and I literally grew up togethe. We used to be best friends and we were rally close. I still like to think of him as that 3 year old boy, but he's not. Someting happened, but I don't know what. I've seen him every Sunday and Wednesday of my entire life! How could I not notice the change?

And what about this girl (let's call her Leah.) Leah and I hve been inseperable growing up. I still spend the night all the time at her house. Her parents love me and my parents love her. We're like sisters! This is how good of friend she is -- she still came to my birthday party the day after her mom died. She's the one person I can tell everything, even those secrets that i'm not supposed to tell... (come on, admit it, everyone has a friend like that!) ButI feel us drifting apart and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. :/ Do you guys have any ideas?

Oh yes, another topic I just thought about. Collage. I know that I'm only in Jr. High, and that I shouldn't be worrying about this, but I do. It bothers me that in a few years I'm going away from all o my friends. I have this vey hig (almost unatainable) dream of going to Juliard as a clarinetist/pianist, but only one of my friends wants to go there, and we're really not that close.If I moved to New York, I would be away from all my friends. This worries me.

I guess all this boils down to is more self esteem issues. i'm afraid of losing friends, getting out of touch, and never seeing the again. That's my greatest fear (at the moment): That al my frinds will abandon me and I'll lose them and have no one because just suck that bad.

-Princess Buttercup-

P.S. Please comment. I changed my settings that anyone can comment, even if you don't have an account. Oh, and vote on the poll below! Thanks for reading, I know ths one was really long, but thanks for hanging with me.

Guy Troubles

Ok so there's this guy (how many times do stories start out like that?) that goes to my school, and I like him a lot. We're friends on facebook, and he is on pretty often. The only problem is, I'm always the one to start conversations. My friend says to wait a couple days for him to talk to me first, but I know him pretty well, and I'm pretty sure he won't talk to me. For instance, he is on facebook right now as we speak, and is not saying anything!

So pretty much, I just need everyone elses advice. What would you do? What should I do? Is this making me seem like a stalker?

Oh, and please vote on the poll below about this! Thanks!

<3 Princess Buttercup<3

Life is Rough

Ok so this one guy, who I supposedly thought was my friend that I have liked for 3 years, all of a sudden started cussing me out and saying he never wants to speak to me again. Obivously i don't like him anymore. What did I do to deserve this? I am such a suckish friend apparently...

Then this other girl twists words around a lot, so when I told her I couldn't trust her sometimes, she flipped out and started talking about how she was "always there for me." What about that one time I was crying in the corner, and she was too busy with her boyfriend to even notice me?

Plus, there's this one guy that I met at the beggining of the year. We became really good friends, but I want something more, and he doesn't.......... of course...

Not to mention my bad self esteem issues and me thinking I'm horrible, fat, ugly, and unloveable....

Wow i have issues